According to the writing of Thomas, working on being more persuasive is a great focus
when competing as, when successful, it leads people to commit to your position based
on it’s merit as opposed to simply complying to it because of force. By clearly explaining
your intentions, working to appeal to shared concerns, and focusing on being specific
and credible during your communication can lead to a much improved outcome while
minimizing negative backlash. By avoiding exaggerations and sticking to the evidence, a
positive overall outcome is much more likely (Thomas 17-18).
Thomas states that it is also important to work on making sure that you fight fairly. In
the midst of a discussion it may be tempted to strengthen your position exaggeration,
which should be avoided as it is likely to lessen your credibility now and on future
issues. It can also be tempting to bring up conflict issues other than the one at hand, and
this too should be avoided as it can imbue old emotional conflicts into the discussion
(Thomas 18). Also, work on being respectful; avoid letting an unwillingness to wait lead
to the inclusion of toxic and degrading behavior. You can also work on softening up your
language, especially if you have a tendency to utilize demeaning language.
Finally, work on switching to using cautions instead of threats. Threats should be
usually used as a last resort and with great care as they tend to do a great deal of damage
of any standing goodwill and promote defiance, counter-threats, and retaliation.
Thomas recommends that instead of utilizing threats, which is promising to provide
punishment if another person does not comply with your wishes, work on utilizing
warnings. As a striking contrast to threat, a warning illustrates what you will have to do
if an individual does not do what you advise. In general warnings have a much different
feel than threats and come off as more judicious and less capricious. Also, because they
tend to provide an explanation of why your actions would be necessary, they tend to
come off as more tenable than threats (Thomas 19).
#2 COLLABORATING
Kenneth W. Thomas notates the following benefits and costs of utilizing the
Collaborating conflict-handling mode.
Benefits of Collaborating:
• High-Quality Decisions: Leads to seeking inventive solutions that are better than each
person’s initial positions.
• Learning and Communication: Aids communication and discovery through open exchange
of information.
• Resolution and Commitment: Leads to both people working toward meeting all concerns,
translating into both parties being committed to the decision.
• Strengthening Relationships: Builds trust and respect by resolving problems in a
relationship (Thomas 13).